Posts I can't seem to finish:

I know I said the reason why I haven't written anything is because I have nothing interesting to say. Well, I am a very interesting person, and it turns out it is less about having nothing to say and more about having things to say but being incapable of writing complete posts about them. I am going to steal a little trick from 2 Birds, 1 Blog and write a post about the posts I can't seem to complete. Here they are:

(1) Am I a robot? Lately, I've been wondering if maybe I am a robot. When I used to work at the place that sucked out my soul and spit it out into a cold abyss called Boston in the winter, I was never allowed to interact with people. This I found to be quite boggling considering normally I am fairly social and most people seem to like me. I used to joke that I was a robot and could only communicate with people over email or with computer programs. Now, it seems Google thinks I am a robot. I won't deny the fact I have about 3000 email addresses with gmail. What can I say, I am one of those people who thinks of a good email address and so I sign up and take it before anyone else can. I also tend to sign up for website alerts and instead of putting in my real email address, I make one up especially for the occassion. I know, I might be insane... but the question isn't my sanity, it's whether or not I am indeed a real person. More recently, Google has denied me opening new email accounts for weeks at a time, because as it tells me, "The answers you have given are very similar to spam robots and therefor we are cutting you off." Okay, Googs doesn't really say that, but that's what they meant when I got the error message. I admit, Google McGoogley has some valid points. All of my email addresses have the same password and verification question answers, which does seem suspicious. I also have a lot of trouble with that goofy looking jumble of letters that you are supposed to type (correctly) into the field in order to authenticate your answers. Does anyone else find those troublesome? The letters are all squiggly and I'm telling you, b's could be b's, or they could be a combination of an l and an o. How do you tell the difference? I can't be the only one with this problem.

(2)Miley Cyrus. Okay, Hannah Montana, I am not a big fan. A few months back (maybe more than a few), Miley appeared on the cover of Glamour magazine and this was honestly the first time I really became irked by her. First of all, she was way too young to be on a women's magazine such as Glamour. She is a child star produced by the Disney Channel and she cannot be taken seriously until she leaves the world of Disney and at least moves up into ABC Family. Hello. Second, she's one of those people who I look at and just don't like her face. Miley, if you are reading this, I am not calling you ugly nor do I want you to develop low self-esteem. I realize you are still in your formative years. However, I just don't like the expression on your face. It's a combination of "aw shucks" and confusion. I hope you grow out of it. Third, and last point in the Anti-Miley tirade this is becoming, what the heck is with that Party in the USA song. Since it is on the radio pretty much every second of the day, I have been forced to listen to it regularly. I get that it is a catchy tune, but why is it called Party in the USA? My understanding of the lyrics is that it is about a girl (cough-Miley-cough) who lives in Nashville and goes to LA (to escalate her music career? Fame? To get out of the Disney shadow? The reasons aren't clarified although we can guess at the options). Upon arriving, she is nervous and butterflies are flying around in her stomach, but fortunately, she hears a familiar song on the radio and feels more comfortable and can let loose and dance around. Okay, cute. But, can I remind everyone here that yes, she is in the USA, and yes she is partying (in the car, in the club, etc). But.... she is an American citizen. She came from Nashville (also part of the USA) and is now in LA. It's not like she is a foreigner and it's her first time in the US. This one little detail annoys me. Also, does anyone else kind of want to say to Miley Cyrus.... maybe you don't belong? Sorry, kid, go back to Nashville and the Disney Channel and stay out of my local radio stations, dumb song and all.

(3) "I've got a crush"--- since I've spent most of my afternoons with high schoolers, I've started picking up their lingo. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, except that the rest of my day needs to be spent writing incredibly smart, concise, and informative cover letters that clarify why a prospective employer should hire me. The issue is that after you've spent an afternoon with a JV field hockey team, not only are you tired when you get home and need to lay on the couch and watch two hours of Dancing with the Stars (with your mom) while eating handfuls of special dark chocolate hershey kisses, you also cannot form proper sentences. In fact, I can't even count the number of times I've wished I could use the phrase "I've got a crush" in my cover letters. It works out so nicely and so perfectly explains how I am feeling. For instance, "I've got a crush on the Slow Food Movement. I've had it ever since I read Animal Vegetable Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver and the September 2008 National Geographic. For this reason, I would love to be part of Slow Food USA in the role of the Special Assistant to the President." I mean, if you think about it, having a crush on something is the perfect expression of blind adoration that every employer should be looking for in future employees, am I right or am I right?

(4) After reading a really stupid Yahoo! article on inconclusive scientific research, I wrote the beginning of a fake news article:

Scientists do research, No conclusions drawn
EVERYWHERE, THE UNIVERSE- It has recently come to the awareness of the Associated press that all across the universe, scientists are out there doing research but no relevant conclusions have been concluded as of this date.

I think we all can see why that one fizzled.


Well, that's it from me. Hopefully I will be able to come up with some complete posts for your entertainment at a later date.

Woah

So, I haven't written in this in a while, largely because I have nothing interesting to say. I know, I know, when has that ever stopped me in the past? But, aside from getting into daily fights with Comcast about the equipment I have yet to return (I'm trying to get them to cover shipping to a payment center, meanwhile I am holding my cable box and remote hostage), nothing is really going on.

Except that fairly random people are finding my blog. I love that. You know, this started out as a blog almost no one knew about, then my mom found it and sent it to all of her friends, and now my blog is famous. If you do a google searches about various topics like cargo pants, you will get my blog. If you input, "Horatio Caine vs. Chuck Norris," my post is the VERY FIRST RESULT. How cool is that?

Clearly, I am awesome and I write about topics people want to read about.

In other random news, there are two new video clips on the right hand side of this website. How did they get there? That wasn't the kind of question I normally ask and then answer myself. I really want to know. The only one I posted was the one with Miss Piggy roller skating through Central Park. Now there are two other muppet related youtubes hanging out with Miss P. I love muppets, so I am not going to remove them, but seriously, how did that happen? Did someone hack in and add more youtubes? Did youtube take it upon itself to add more content to my blog? I am boggled.

Also, if you are a new reader to this blog because you stumbled upon it accidently, don't read the most recent posts-- they are dullsville. Skip ahead (or skip back?) to some of the earlier ones.

That's it from me today-- catch ya on the flip side.