Have you ever been talking to someone and you see his/her eyes glaze over and you know that person is not listening to you anymore but simply nodding and smiling along with your story, laughing at the right moments and trying so hard to look engaged? Recently, I've been doing that a lot to others. I just can't seem to listen to anyone's stories besides my own. Obviously, I feel really guilty about this because I am known for my ridiculously long stories that no one can follow and have no point. So I should probably try to listen when other people are basically doing what I do to them. But no, instead I wait until that perfect moment to share my funnier, smarter, better story.
It is like I am constantly trying to one-up everyone all of the time.
Oh, you slipped on the ice and got laughed at by a woman crossing the street?
Me, I slipped on the ice, fell into a puddle, and while still flat on my back in the middle of the road I got beeped at by a car that was trying to pass.
See how my story was better?
Your roommates are weird? Mine are weirder. And I will tell you why with the help of a power point presentation and pictures posted on Facebook.
I don't know what has gotten into me. I have turned into a completely ego-centric person. Probably when my sister has her baby, I will write a blog about my adventure getting home or how I won the baby pool... twice. (February 2nd suckers!)
Hopefully I will get over this phase soon. I don't really like being so self absorbed, but I can't seem to control it. I caught myself describing my favorite commercial in detail to a couple of colleagues the other day. (It is a really funny commercial. It is for the new AT&T and it has this tall blond man named Sven in it, and he wakes up the family, sets up their schedule, keeps everyone informed of their missed calls and emails, and at the end hands out giant sweaters like the one he is wearing and tells them to 'bundle up.' Every time i see it, I backwards bloop bloop on TiVo just so I can get a second showing. I am addicted to Sven.) But the point is--- it is a TV advertisement, not breaking news about Jamie Lynn's pregnancy or the score of whatever important football game was on on Sunday. There is no need for me to share it with co-workers over the water cooler. It's like I need a slap on the face that says "Get a life, Jenn." I bet Sven would do that for me. Seriously. See how helpful he would be in my life? He could say things like "You have been speaking for 42 minutes" or "Your friend wants to talk now" to keep me on track. (I told you I was obsessed).
Since there is no chance that Sven will show up on my doorstep to keep me in line, I will have to do it myself. This has got to stop. I am not going to add it to my list, but I will try very very hard anyway.
3 comments:
no, I'm NOT funnier than you, though sometimes I probably think I am. I do know some people at school though who are particularly funny. If you could meet them, you may convince yourself that you're not as funny. but only if you met them.
Jenn, thanks for sharing Sven. I absolutely love TV commercials, and this one had me laughing (mostly because I think there's a little Sven in me!).
Diane
I'm a habitual one-upper, and cannot be stopped. In fact, this has been an ongoing problem since middle school. My friends have always told me "You always try to one-up people." Still, I can't break the habit. It's seriously a disease.
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