Honk-U

Once upon a time, I thought Stacey had the worst road rage. This was before I was a regular driver in the greater Boston area. Now, I too, am faced with battling the long and short term effects of road rage every time I get in my car.

Here's why:

• Greater Boston area drivers think the blinker is optional. It is not. Get with the program people! If you are going to turn, switch lanes, or cut someone off, please do the courteous thing and signal. The lack of using the turn signal is the number one reason why the nickname 'Masshole' exists.
  

• Drivers 'round here have no idea which lane to be in. Now, part of this is the fault of the incredibly stupid roads and the lack of signage. However, sometimes it is quite clear what lane you should be in and yet the drivers still don't get it. Example: if there are two left turning lanes, and you look ahead and see the road you are turning left onto immediately forks, choose the left turning lane that is on the side of the road you will need to be when it splits up ahead. Don't get in the wrong one and assume the person next to you is going to let you in when you come to the realization you are an idiot.

• My other favorite are the people who straddle two lanes. Get a clue, Mass driver. There are two or three lanes for reasons. They all serve a purpose. Some are turning lanes, some are passing lanes, some are for going straight. You can't have be in all of them because that annoys me.

• Honking (this is a two-parter):

• In Driver's Ed close to 10 years ago, I learned that honking was a tool you could use to alert someone of something that can be prevented. For instance, if someone is pulling out and you can stop them from hitting you by honking, knock yourself out. It is not meant to say "Hey, I hate you!" or "I am in a hurry, here!" (Unless of course, you have a car sitting idly in the middle of the road. In this case, honk away my friends, honk your little heart out.)

• It is not okay to honk at someone who is trying to turn left into traffic and can't because cars are coming or if the light just turned green and they aren't going fast enough for you. That's just rude. We all know everyone is in a hurry; honking doesn't help. In those cases, I really wish I had a rear honk. A noise that came out of the back of the car to respond to unacceptable honkers behind you. Then, maybe impatient drivers would hold their honks. Or, more realistically, the world will become a louder place.

To combat the crippling effects of road rage, I have heard that poetry helps:

Hey! You cut me off!
Do you know how to use your
turn signal, dummy?

You might have plates from
another state but that does
not mean you hog lanes

Honk at me from the
behind and I will get you
back when it is time