Oh.My.Garbage.

What is the obsession with garbage disposal needing to be done in a certain way? Why do cities need to be so particular about it? In the past 2 or 3 weeks I have gotten several notices and talking tos about the proper way to get rid of garbage. Whatever happened to leave it on the street on garbage day and somebody takes it?

Now, I know in SW, you need to have all of your garbage in the town approved garbage bin because their garbage trucks double as robots. If your garbage isn't in that bin, facing a certain direction, the arm that comes down from the truck to pick up the bin won't get it. I understand that-- with technology comes great responsibility.

However, in Somerville, there are no gar-bots, but not only do you need to have your trash in bins but also if you have an excess of trash and you run out of bins, your house will get a citation. Not just a shame on you citation, a real one, with money involved. Okay, so what do you do if one day you have more than your share of garbage? Well, you call the city of Somerville (3-1-1) and ask them. After giving all of the information you have about you, where you live, what your concern/issue is, they say: "Okay, I have entered your claim. We'll call you back." Click.

My question was: Where can I dispose of my excess garbage? Is there a dump I can drop it off at? On moving day do they still issue citations for garbage not properly disposed of in garbage bins?

A simple "Here are directions to the dump" or "Buy more bins" was really all it takes. I'd assume if you are answering the phone for the city of Somerville you must have access to these solutions if not in your head than at least at your fingertips. But no, when inquiring about garbage disposal solutions, they'll have to call you back.

So then we decide we would try to find a dump on our own. Nothing is listed on the Somerville and surrounding areas websites and then the internet ceases working. Strike two.

Our landlady suggests we find a house that is already going to get fined for excess garbage and throw it on their pile. Apparently she abides by the rules but doesn't mind watching us break them.

Two doors down we find such a situation. It's a garbage ninja's (that's what we started calling ourselves) heaven--- there are broken pieces of furniture, bags of trash, etc. So, we start discreetly tossing our bags of garbage onto the already mountainous pile. Then, a man comes out onto his porch and says "Hey, are you the girls moving in downstairs?"

Us: "No."
Him: "Well, then what are you doing?"
Me: "Just getting rid of some garbage." (I figure, honesty is the best policy)
Him: 'Why don't you put it in front of your house?"
Us: "Our landlord doesn't want a citation and you are already getting one." (There, we said it.)
Him: "Well, we already have a lot of trash and there is going to be more, so you really can't add to our pile."

Um okay--- so apparently, some people are protective of their illegal piles of garbage. Seriously? What's 6 more bags of garbage on your already gynormous pile? Who are these people?

Finally we debate the prospect of finding an apartment building's dumpster and adding our garbage to that. I call a friend who lives near one, she says that it isn't going to work because we will get in trouble. Commercial ones also won't work, that's illegal. Jokers.

I end up calling my friend Heidi because she is a wealth of information on useful things (she is a real grown-up while I just pretend to be one) and she tells me to just come over and use her garbage bins. So I do. I bring the 6 bags to a friend's garbage bin, no problem.

What kind of a world is where I cannot drive to a dump to drop off garbage? Or leave it on the street in sturdy bags? Or put it in someone else's dumpster? Why does life have to be this hard?

Anyway, today, I walk in my front door to my new building and there is a sign about the proper disposal of trash. In Boston, no bins required, but they must be in black or white sturdy garbage bags (NO GROCERY BAGS), failure to comply with these rules will result in a citation on our landlord. All of my stuff was in garbage bags, so I am a rule abiding citizen... except I haven't put my boxes out. I wonder if because if those are potentially recyclable I can leave a box of boxes out? Or will that be a problem? How can I find this information out? Maybe I can call the city of Boston...oh, right. They'll have to call me back tomorrow.