EF that-- The world is now my oyster!

I found out I am being laid off. After a month of my company hemming and hawing about whether or not I fit in the new structure, they finally made the decision that I did not (never had, really) and are terminating my employment at the end of July. I don't know whether to be grateful that I get an extra paycheck because they are 'letting me stay on' through the end of the month or annoyed because clearly I am just being used for my exemplary training skills and prowess of knowledge. I have decided not to think about it (too much) and instead end my career at the company (that doubles as a fraternity/sorority/NYC Prep School/insert applicable analogy about clique-y places here) with class and grace and not as much spite as I would typically like to employ.

In the meantime, I am going to do a countdown of sorts by writing in this blog (in between cover letters) as I scramble to find something new by mid- August so I can be the only person turning a profit in this poor economy.

Since I saw this coming, I have been doing some soul searching for the past month or so, or maybe since forever but we'll pretend it is something that only started recently for this post's sake. For most, this would be a good thing. But, as an overanalytical, overachieving, and an increasingly oversensitive late-20s female.... the type of soul searching I do typically starts with beers and ends in tears. I become so incapacitated by the fear of moving forward, that I just lay on my couch and catch up on HBO series like True Blood and Entourage, since I know I will never find another job and will be forced to cancel cable at the end of the month in order to save a buck. Sigh.

In between panic attacks, phone calls from friends, cocktails and FoodTV marathons, I did come up with some semblance of a plan. Since I am getting a fair severance, I realized I had til end of September to find a job where I make the same amount of money as I do now. And if I find a job sooner than that, I can take a paycut and still break even at the end of the year. It's simple math. Thus, I have the very strategic plan of applying to (1) anything and (b) everything in the hopes I get at least a few offers to think about (read: accept immediately in desperation).

And, although I would love to find 'the perfect job,' I realize that is just as likely as finding a boyfriend in Boston (for those of you not familiar with the area or my previous posts on the subject, that would be like finding a unicorn in a desert), so I am perfectly okay with taking a job that I can check in at 9 and check out at 5 and then do all of the other stuff I want with my life on the side (like becoming a freelance writer and upcycled clothing refurbisher).

If anyone has any suggestions for me in regards to my future as an employed individual, please drop me a line in the form of a comment (I am willing to relocate). And check in for updates, as I am positive they will get funnier. Or, at least more bitterly sarcastic as the days continue.