If anyone has ever had to sit through an exit interview and the situation is such that you are being terminated.... it pretty much sucks. You basically have an HR doofus (I know, it is not his fault he has the worst job in the universe) reading a letter aloud to you about how you lost your job and you better be nice to "The Company" and he knows this is confusing but "we" just have to get through it together.
My thoughts on that are:
(1) I can read
(2) I don't think this is confusing
(3) If you think this is confusing, maybe I should be the one doing your job
(4) I am not an idiot
(5) Stop looking at me like you feel bad for me. I feel bad for you, because you have to run this pointless meeting about how I no longer work here.
To make the 20 minutes go by even faster... I decided to make the meeting as awkward and as uncomfortable as possible.
When he said: Do you understand you need to turn in all property and information you have on "The Company" by the end of the day?
I said: The only property I have is my ID (here it is) but the information is in my head... soooo, I am not sure what you want me to do.
When he said: Do you know what COBRA is?
And after I explained it perfectly succinctly,
he said: Okay, well it sounds like you know exactly what COBRA is! But, let me just read this aloud to you anyway so we make sure this part is covered.
When he said: Can I verify this is your current address?
I said: Yes, until August 30. After that I am homeless.
AWESOME. I love being laid off. Except for the fact I don't get my severence check for 10 days. 10 MORE DAYS until I can apply for my Australia Visa. (Yes, it is still on the table. It is just waylaid until I get that check, unless I get a job in the meantime).
1 comment:
Janie, your humor is still intact so EF didn't get that. :)
you're a free woman...and the universe is your onion.
(hmmm....somehow I feel like Tim the Toolman Taylor messing up something profound from wilson....) :)
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