I do not like talk radio (with the exception of the alt.npr love and radio podcast I follow and listen to on my way to work sometimes... and Car Talk).
I think all of the hate stems from when I was a young and impressionable teenager on the same morning schedule as my mother who used to blast terrible morning radio shows throughout the house. I admit, there was a time when I used to laugh at the phony phone prank calls on my 7 minute drive to work during the summers at 6:52AM, however more than 7 minutes was too much for me and if I had to leave the program mid-joke, I never wondered what the punch line was later. I realize some people like this and I am not judging you by your taste in radio, I just need to state the fact that this particular noise is not music to my ears.
Anyway, I have been having trouble with my alarm clock because I moved one alarm clock into my family room so I would have a clock in there as well as the fact that it doubles as an iPod dock and is quite bright for a bedroom (although I am not the type to mind light in a bedroom while sleeping) and so I moved my other, older, alarm clock into my bedroom for waking up purposes. Turns out the reason I got a new alarm clock was because the old alarm clock tends to be on the fritz. I had forgotten that and overslept and was late to work a couple of times since the switch. Thus, I decided I'd keep my iPod alarm/dock where it was and just start using my phone as my alarm. It is quite handy because although it only lets you hit snooze five times before it shuts off (for a total of 25 minutes of snoozage), you can have a second or even third alarm set to go off again after you know you will have hit the snooze on the previous alarm the max number of times. I have set my phone alarm for three alarms-- two with nice melodic tones and one that is a high pitched beeping sound that alerts me I am in the danger zone and have to get up or just call out sick to work.
The point of the story is, I have been living in this lovely life of three alarms and all is well, when one morning I wake up to MORNING TALK RADIO blasting in my ears. The horror! I jumped out of bed immediately to turn it off and stare at the possessed clock radio. One day it decides to work properly, and all the fiddling I had done previously made it tuned to a radio station that insists on talking to you in the early hours. Horrible. Horrible.
I thought my run ins with that sort of radio genre were over... until today when I discovered that iTunes has a radio feature. How handy, I thought to myself as I perused the many musical offerings including a few from Italy although none that specialized in French Rap. Then, I click on Comedy thinking maybe I could listen to some good stand up. But no.
The first program in the queue was a station entirely devoted to prank phone calls, and in my happy and enthusiastic clicking I had accidentally set it off and even more accidentally turned up the volume. And then my computer froze.
I was forced to listen, cringing and scowling all the while, for a good 5 minutes before I realized I could stop it by turning off my computer (which I did).
While writing this post I am listening to my neighbor have a very personal conversation with what sounds to be her significant other. This makes me think that maybe, just maybe, she can hear my phone alarm go off 11 times in the AM and my 10pm fight with the phoney phone radio station. Maybe this is why no one has said hello to me in the stairwell.
Sunday, 19 October 2008
Sunday, 14 September 2008
Oh.My.Garbage.
What is the obsession with garbage disposal needing to be done in a certain way? Why do cities need to be so particular about it? In the past 2 or 3 weeks I have gotten several notices and talking tos about the proper way to get rid of garbage. Whatever happened to leave it on the street on garbage day and somebody takes it?
Now, I know in SW, you need to have all of your garbage in the town approved garbage bin because their garbage trucks double as robots. If your garbage isn't in that bin, facing a certain direction, the arm that comes down from the truck to pick up the bin won't get it. I understand that-- with technology comes great responsibility.
However, in Somerville, there are no gar-bots, but not only do you need to have your trash in bins but also if you have an excess of trash and you run out of bins, your house will get a citation. Not just a shame on you citation, a real one, with money involved. Okay, so what do you do if one day you have more than your share of garbage? Well, you call the city of Somerville (3-1-1) and ask them. After giving all of the information you have about you, where you live, what your concern/issue is, they say: "Okay, I have entered your claim. We'll call you back." Click.
My question was: Where can I dispose of my excess garbage? Is there a dump I can drop it off at? On moving day do they still issue citations for garbage not properly disposed of in garbage bins?
A simple "Here are directions to the dump" or "Buy more bins" was really all it takes. I'd assume if you are answering the phone for the city of Somerville you must have access to these solutions if not in your head than at least at your fingertips. But no, when inquiring about garbage disposal solutions, they'll have to call you back.
So then we decide we would try to find a dump on our own. Nothing is listed on the Somerville and surrounding areas websites and then the internet ceases working. Strike two.
Our landlady suggests we find a house that is already going to get fined for excess garbage and throw it on their pile. Apparently she abides by the rules but doesn't mind watching us break them.
Two doors down we find such a situation. It's a garbage ninja's (that's what we started calling ourselves) heaven--- there are broken pieces of furniture, bags of trash, etc. So, we start discreetly tossing our bags of garbage onto the already mountainous pile. Then, a man comes out onto his porch and says "Hey, are you the girls moving in downstairs?"
Us: "No."
Him: "Well, then what are you doing?"
Me: "Just getting rid of some garbage." (I figure, honesty is the best policy)
Him: 'Why don't you put it in front of your house?"
Us: "Our landlord doesn't want a citation and you are already getting one." (There, we said it.)
Him: "Well, we already have a lot of trash and there is going to be more, so you really can't add to our pile."
Um okay--- so apparently, some people are protective of their illegal piles of garbage. Seriously? What's 6 more bags of garbage on your already gynormous pile? Who are these people?
Finally we debate the prospect of finding an apartment building's dumpster and adding our garbage to that. I call a friend who lives near one, she says that it isn't going to work because we will get in trouble. Commercial ones also won't work, that's illegal. Jokers.
I end up calling my friend Heidi because she is a wealth of information on useful things (she is a real grown-up while I just pretend to be one) and she tells me to just come over and use her garbage bins. So I do. I bring the 6 bags to a friend's garbage bin, no problem.
What kind of a world is where I cannot drive to a dump to drop off garbage? Or leave it on the street in sturdy bags? Or put it in someone else's dumpster? Why does life have to be this hard?
Anyway, today, I walk in my front door to my new building and there is a sign about the proper disposal of trash. In Boston, no bins required, but they must be in black or white sturdy garbage bags (NO GROCERY BAGS), failure to comply with these rules will result in a citation on our landlord. All of my stuff was in garbage bags, so I am a rule abiding citizen... except I haven't put my boxes out. I wonder if because if those are potentially recyclable I can leave a box of boxes out? Or will that be a problem? How can I find this information out? Maybe I can call the city of Boston...oh, right. They'll have to call me back tomorrow.
Now, I know in SW, you need to have all of your garbage in the town approved garbage bin because their garbage trucks double as robots. If your garbage isn't in that bin, facing a certain direction, the arm that comes down from the truck to pick up the bin won't get it. I understand that-- with technology comes great responsibility.
However, in Somerville, there are no gar-bots, but not only do you need to have your trash in bins but also if you have an excess of trash and you run out of bins, your house will get a citation. Not just a shame on you citation, a real one, with money involved. Okay, so what do you do if one day you have more than your share of garbage? Well, you call the city of Somerville (3-1-1) and ask them. After giving all of the information you have about you, where you live, what your concern/issue is, they say: "Okay, I have entered your claim. We'll call you back." Click.
My question was: Where can I dispose of my excess garbage? Is there a dump I can drop it off at? On moving day do they still issue citations for garbage not properly disposed of in garbage bins?
A simple "Here are directions to the dump" or "Buy more bins" was really all it takes. I'd assume if you are answering the phone for the city of Somerville you must have access to these solutions if not in your head than at least at your fingertips. But no, when inquiring about garbage disposal solutions, they'll have to call you back.
So then we decide we would try to find a dump on our own. Nothing is listed on the Somerville and surrounding areas websites and then the internet ceases working. Strike two.
Our landlady suggests we find a house that is already going to get fined for excess garbage and throw it on their pile. Apparently she abides by the rules but doesn't mind watching us break them.
Two doors down we find such a situation. It's a garbage ninja's (that's what we started calling ourselves) heaven--- there are broken pieces of furniture, bags of trash, etc. So, we start discreetly tossing our bags of garbage onto the already mountainous pile. Then, a man comes out onto his porch and says "Hey, are you the girls moving in downstairs?"
Us: "No."
Him: "Well, then what are you doing?"
Me: "Just getting rid of some garbage." (I figure, honesty is the best policy)
Him: 'Why don't you put it in front of your house?"
Us: "Our landlord doesn't want a citation and you are already getting one." (There, we said it.)
Him: "Well, we already have a lot of trash and there is going to be more, so you really can't add to our pile."
Um okay--- so apparently, some people are protective of their illegal piles of garbage. Seriously? What's 6 more bags of garbage on your already gynormous pile? Who are these people?
Finally we debate the prospect of finding an apartment building's dumpster and adding our garbage to that. I call a friend who lives near one, she says that it isn't going to work because we will get in trouble. Commercial ones also won't work, that's illegal. Jokers.
I end up calling my friend Heidi because she is a wealth of information on useful things (she is a real grown-up while I just pretend to be one) and she tells me to just come over and use her garbage bins. So I do. I bring the 6 bags to a friend's garbage bin, no problem.
What kind of a world is where I cannot drive to a dump to drop off garbage? Or leave it on the street in sturdy bags? Or put it in someone else's dumpster? Why does life have to be this hard?
Anyway, today, I walk in my front door to my new building and there is a sign about the proper disposal of trash. In Boston, no bins required, but they must be in black or white sturdy garbage bags (NO GROCERY BAGS), failure to comply with these rules will result in a citation on our landlord. All of my stuff was in garbage bags, so I am a rule abiding citizen... except I haven't put my boxes out. I wonder if because if those are potentially recyclable I can leave a box of boxes out? Or will that be a problem? How can I find this information out? Maybe I can call the city of Boston...oh, right. They'll have to call me back tomorrow.
Saturday, 16 August 2008
Misheard, Misunderstood
Holy mashed potatoes batman, I was just in my car singing along to Murder on the Dance Floor, and I had the sudden realization I have been singing the chorus wrong all these years...... It's not "It's murder on the dance floor, but you better not kill the groom," It's "You better not kill the groove."
Woah, this changes everything. I had imagined that Sophie Ellis-Baxtor was a wedding singer, and there was a disaster (a murder!) on the dance floor at one of the weddings that she was performing at, and she was saying, "Just don't kill the groom... I mean, a murder at a wedding is one thing, but it is best not to ruin it completely by killing off the wedding party as well, least of all not the groom, or bride for that matter. Thanks."
I'm (a) an idiot but (b) secretly like my version of the song better. It is much more interesting in a dramatic kind of way. Would make an excellently twisted music video.
I know, I know, what's wrong with me? I'm sure I don't know.
Woah, this changes everything. I had imagined that Sophie Ellis-Baxtor was a wedding singer, and there was a disaster (a murder!) on the dance floor at one of the weddings that she was performing at, and she was saying, "Just don't kill the groom... I mean, a murder at a wedding is one thing, but it is best not to ruin it completely by killing off the wedding party as well, least of all not the groom, or bride for that matter. Thanks."
I'm (a) an idiot but (b) secretly like my version of the song better. It is much more interesting in a dramatic kind of way. Would make an excellently twisted music video.
I know, I know, what's wrong with me? I'm sure I don't know.
Friday, 25 July 2008
The Next Comic Standing
Have any of you watched The Next Comic Standing? I think it needs a name change. It should be called The Next and Last Comic Standing. The whole premise of the show is to get 5 comics to the finals to be judged by America, but they are too busy recapping the Last Comic and previewing the Next Comic for us to even make those decisions. In the middle of the last episode, there was one whole clip sandwiched between commercial breaks that was all about what happened last and what was happening next, with no comedy bits.
I don't know, I guess some people don't have TiVo and they are like fish or dogs with less than 30 second memories or something, but I just saw that and I don't need you to tell me what happened and since there are only 7 people coming up I am guessing one of them is next. I mean, if there was some crazy twist where all of a sudden my phone is ringing and the producers are on the line saying "Jenn we need you to do some stand up on the show" and adding me to the competition then yes, please do let me know. But no, who's next? Oh, one of the seven comics? Really? Shocking. Why didn't you warn me. I went to go make pasta because I thought that it was going to cut to Little House On the Prairie for the next 5 minutes.
Also, has anyone noticed that one of the comics may have changed his name? I swear Jeff Dye used to be called Jack Dye. And I remember this only because I think Jack Dye is handsome and part of his handsomeness was in the name Jack (the other part is in his fluorescent attire). "Jack" is a handsome name. "Jeff" is a crap shoot. I think maybe I heard him say his middle name is "Jackpot" (classy) and that is why sometimes he goes by Jack, but since we are dealing with viewers who can't remember what happened in the last 20 seconds of the show, I don't think it is a good idea to change your name Jack/Jeff. Pick one, go with it, and don't confuse the viewers. Half will try to vote for Jeff, the other half will go with Jack, and it's bad to split your own votes. Yikes. (Note: I did some research and maybe he has always been Jeff. I don't know because I don't have the original episode saved on TiVo, but I swear it said Jack once. I really do. But, I could be wrong, my memory is not so good these days and no one kept me posted. All it would take is a little bit of the following: "Here is Jeff formerly known as Jack and currently known as Jeff but potentially to be known as Jack again shortly" to keep me up to speed on his name). (Second Note: I just found the original clip and yes it says Jeff but it sounds like Jack. So I guess I am a good listener but a bad reader. I think I was distracted by the tall vanilla latte in a bright green shirt).
Last, I missed the episode where Paul Foot got kicked off, and I am sad about Paul Foot leaving but I am not sad I missed the show. I heard Carrot Top was the special guest and I don't really like Carrot Top: (a) he scares me with his crazy hair and crazier eyes and (b) is it really necessary to call yourself "Carrot Top"? Really? Carrots aren't even red.
For those of you who don't know who Paul Foot is or why I like him, here is a clip:
UPDATE: If you watch this video until 4 minutes 40 seconds you will get to his cake bit. Thanks, Brooke!
I don't know, I guess some people don't have TiVo and they are like fish or dogs with less than 30 second memories or something, but I just saw that and I don't need you to tell me what happened and since there are only 7 people coming up I am guessing one of them is next. I mean, if there was some crazy twist where all of a sudden my phone is ringing and the producers are on the line saying "Jenn we need you to do some stand up on the show" and adding me to the competition then yes, please do let me know. But no, who's next? Oh, one of the seven comics? Really? Shocking. Why didn't you warn me. I went to go make pasta because I thought that it was going to cut to Little House On the Prairie for the next 5 minutes.
Also, has anyone noticed that one of the comics may have changed his name? I swear Jeff Dye used to be called Jack Dye. And I remember this only because I think Jack Dye is handsome and part of his handsomeness was in the name Jack (the other part is in his fluorescent attire). "Jack" is a handsome name. "Jeff" is a crap shoot. I think maybe I heard him say his middle name is "Jackpot" (classy) and that is why sometimes he goes by Jack, but since we are dealing with viewers who can't remember what happened in the last 20 seconds of the show, I don't think it is a good idea to change your name Jack/Jeff. Pick one, go with it, and don't confuse the viewers. Half will try to vote for Jeff, the other half will go with Jack, and it's bad to split your own votes. Yikes. (Note: I did some research and maybe he has always been Jeff. I don't know because I don't have the original episode saved on TiVo, but I swear it said Jack once. I really do. But, I could be wrong, my memory is not so good these days and no one kept me posted. All it would take is a little bit of the following: "Here is Jeff formerly known as Jack and currently known as Jeff but potentially to be known as Jack again shortly" to keep me up to speed on his name). (Second Note: I just found the original clip and yes it says Jeff but it sounds like Jack. So I guess I am a good listener but a bad reader. I think I was distracted by the tall vanilla latte in a bright green shirt).
Last, I missed the episode where Paul Foot got kicked off, and I am sad about Paul Foot leaving but I am not sad I missed the show. I heard Carrot Top was the special guest and I don't really like Carrot Top: (a) he scares me with his crazy hair and crazier eyes and (b) is it really necessary to call yourself "Carrot Top"? Really? Carrots aren't even red.
For those of you who don't know who Paul Foot is or why I like him, here is a clip:
UPDATE: If you watch this video until 4 minutes 40 seconds you will get to his cake bit. Thanks, Brooke!
Sunday, 29 June 2008
The Art of Procrastination, by Jenn
Lately I have found that the only way for me to get things done is to schedule time for it. So today I scheduled time to sort through my clothes and clean my room. I want to get everything organized before I go to Costa Rica so when I come back I can actually enjoy my summer instead of having a messy room that I will have to pack up hanging over my head.
However, my room to me is like a candy store to a kid. It has all kinds of amazing and useless things in it. So far today this what I have done:
1. Sorted through the clothes in my first 5 drawers. The 6th drawer I couldn't reach while laying on my bed, so I didn't get to that one.
2. Had brilliant idea of putting all of my dirty clothes in my laundry basket and clean clothes on my bed. Discovered that my laundry basket was filled with fancy dresses. Tried them all on. Danced around my room to test twirlability of each dress.
3. Skimmed the book on writing a book in a month. Got overwhelmed.
4. Found my journal that has all of my future short story titles in it and tried to determine if any of them could be turned into a book. Decided that short story titles really can only one day become short stories. Thought about writing a book of short stories. Wondered if that would qualify for writing a book in a month.
5. Doodled images of owls.
6. Sharpened a new number 1 pencil, "just in case."
7. Found a half drank bottle of root beer (diet). Tasted it. Flat and warm, just the way I like it.
8. Looked for motivation under my bed. Instead found a kit that teaches one how to make friendship bracelets. Thought about making one. Decided against it. Remembered that I had a kit that would teach me the art of Chinese brush painting. Looked for that. Found it on the top shelf of my closet. Too high up to reach and my chair was covered in stuff, so instead I read a few short stories in a book of short stories.
9. Stripped the sheets off my bed, then took a short nap on the bare mattress.
10. Made a "Cleaning Playlist" for my iPod. Synchronized my iPod. Listened to Playlist. Didn't like it. Rearranged the order. Resynched. Liked it.
11. Spotted the belated birthday present I bought for my roommate Liz. Wrapped it so it looked like a cupcake using only tape and tissue paper.
12. Started sorting through my mail. Then started reading my mail. Read the March issue of Martha Stewart Living. Remembered that the only reason why I get Martha Stewart Living is because Blueprint was cancelled. Got annoyed. Read back issues of Blueprint.
13. Remembered a conversation I had with a colleague about whether or not is was environmentally responsible to travel by stretch hummer instead of a cab. Researched the MPG of a stretch hummer and compared it with the MPG of an ordinary Boston cab. Calculated that our stretch hummer which was used to transport 20 people from EF to the restaurant used twice as much gas as one cab would have. However, one cab couldn't hold 20 people, so we would have needed 5 cabs, so in the end we saved .3 gallon of gas by taking the stretch hummer.
14. Realized it was 5pm and that my room was actually messier than when I started, my bed was unmade, and that I had wasted over 5 hours of my time. Wrote this post.
THE END
However, my room to me is like a candy store to a kid. It has all kinds of amazing and useless things in it. So far today this what I have done:
1. Sorted through the clothes in my first 5 drawers. The 6th drawer I couldn't reach while laying on my bed, so I didn't get to that one.
2. Had brilliant idea of putting all of my dirty clothes in my laundry basket and clean clothes on my bed. Discovered that my laundry basket was filled with fancy dresses. Tried them all on. Danced around my room to test twirlability of each dress.
3. Skimmed the book on writing a book in a month. Got overwhelmed.
4. Found my journal that has all of my future short story titles in it and tried to determine if any of them could be turned into a book. Decided that short story titles really can only one day become short stories. Thought about writing a book of short stories. Wondered if that would qualify for writing a book in a month.
5. Doodled images of owls.
6. Sharpened a new number 1 pencil, "just in case."
7. Found a half drank bottle of root beer (diet). Tasted it. Flat and warm, just the way I like it.
8. Looked for motivation under my bed. Instead found a kit that teaches one how to make friendship bracelets. Thought about making one. Decided against it. Remembered that I had a kit that would teach me the art of Chinese brush painting. Looked for that. Found it on the top shelf of my closet. Too high up to reach and my chair was covered in stuff, so instead I read a few short stories in a book of short stories.
9. Stripped the sheets off my bed, then took a short nap on the bare mattress.
10. Made a "Cleaning Playlist" for my iPod. Synchronized my iPod. Listened to Playlist. Didn't like it. Rearranged the order. Resynched. Liked it.
11. Spotted the belated birthday present I bought for my roommate Liz. Wrapped it so it looked like a cupcake using only tape and tissue paper.
12. Started sorting through my mail. Then started reading my mail. Read the March issue of Martha Stewart Living. Remembered that the only reason why I get Martha Stewart Living is because Blueprint was cancelled. Got annoyed. Read back issues of Blueprint.
13. Remembered a conversation I had with a colleague about whether or not is was environmentally responsible to travel by stretch hummer instead of a cab. Researched the MPG of a stretch hummer and compared it with the MPG of an ordinary Boston cab. Calculated that our stretch hummer which was used to transport 20 people from EF to the restaurant used twice as much gas as one cab would have. However, one cab couldn't hold 20 people, so we would have needed 5 cabs, so in the end we saved .3 gallon of gas by taking the stretch hummer.
14. Realized it was 5pm and that my room was actually messier than when I started, my bed was unmade, and that I had wasted over 5 hours of my time. Wrote this post.
THE END
Saturday, 28 June 2008
Who doesn't love Dyson?
Woah, I am totally obsessed with Dyson vacuums. I really wish I had one. Is anyone else with me on this one? If I had a spare $400+ and the need for a really fancy vacuum, I'd totally buy a Dyson. Move over Hoover, you are toast. There's a new vacuum in town and it is the Dyson Ball. It turns on a dime and never loses suction. The increased maneuverability is due to the motor inside the ball, giving it a lower of center of gravity (genius) and the incredible amount of suction occurs because of the Dyson patented root cyclone technology. I find this amazing.
I think the reason why I am fascinated with Dyson vacuums is the commercials. First of all, they star the inventor himself, and he is so passionate about suction that he actually makes me want to be passionate about vacuum suction. I truly believe that if you are passionate about what you do, then that passion can extend to anyone you talk to. That's why infomercials work so well.
My newfound passion about suction actually extends to hand dryer suction as well. Have you seen the Dyson Airblade? It is the most amazing hand dryer in the universe. Watching the commercial for the Airblade makes me want to purchase one. For the apartment I rent. Yup, that's right. I want to buy a hand dryer for my rented apartment's bathroom. Like that makes any sense.
Watch the commercial below at your own risk. It could make you spend lots of money on suction:
I think the reason why I am fascinated with Dyson vacuums is the commercials. First of all, they star the inventor himself, and he is so passionate about suction that he actually makes me want to be passionate about vacuum suction. I truly believe that if you are passionate about what you do, then that passion can extend to anyone you talk to. That's why infomercials work so well.
My newfound passion about suction actually extends to hand dryer suction as well. Have you seen the Dyson Airblade? It is the most amazing hand dryer in the universe. Watching the commercial for the Airblade makes me want to purchase one. For the apartment I rent. Yup, that's right. I want to buy a hand dryer for my rented apartment's bathroom. Like that makes any sense.
Watch the commercial below at your own risk. It could make you spend lots of money on suction:
Thursday, 29 May 2008
The I Hate Lisa Club official as of Wednesday night
Everywhere, USA- Viewers of Bravo’s hit reality program Top Chef bleched, blehhed and auuuuuuggghhed in unison last night after the airing of its most recent episode when it was determined that “Moana” Lisa would remain on the show for yet another day. Instead, Spike “Both my grandfathers were butchers and I like hats” Mendelsohn was voted out of the mansion and back to his real life as a fancy shmancy Chef de Cuisine in Tribeca. After the booing died down across the country (11pm Eastern, 10 pm Central) it was decided that an un-fan club needed to be formed, later dubbed the I Hate Lisa Club.
Members of the newfound club voiced their concerns that Lisa remains on the show because she is rude, obnoxious, loud, and ugly among other things and all of this makes for good TV. They feel as though keeping a character like Lisa on and into the final four sacrifices the high standards the show has been known for in the past. Is this not a competition among the best chefs in the country and shouldn’t the best be given an opportunity to win--- instead, Bravo appears to allow crazy-psychos stay on the show for a few measly ratings.
It’s true. I plan to watch the show mainly because I want to see which of the final 3 will punch Lisa in the face first. I also have been dying for a new bacon recipe, and since that is Lisa’s specialty I am hoping she will make it several more times so I can get a recipe off of this travesty at least. Oh wait, I don’t need a recipe to make BACON. Silly me. Maybe I will whip up some peanut butter mashed potatoes tonight because THAT SOUNDS APPETIZING.
Moving on and away from the fake news story format, I just have to say, what is the deal with keeping Lisa on the show? Come on! I know Spike isn’t a fan favorite either, but you can tell he has good skills. And he wears cool hats. And he is easier on the eyes than Lisa. He won the quick fire by making lollipop chops, didn’t he? I mean, Lisa has been on the chopping block for the past few weeks and every week I sit on my couch and hope and pray and wish and hope and wish and pray for Lisa to get told to pack her knives and go and it NEVER happens. Instead, she has one redeeming quality or she throws her friends (yeah, they are her friends because she wants to ‘keep in touch no matter what happens’—um, no one is going to keep in touch with you Lisa because you are evil and mean) under the bus and then someone who is far more talented than she is gets kicked off. Gross.
If you are interested in joining the I Hate Lisa Club, please send a check or money order to me at my address for $19.95 plus shipping and handling and I will send you this lovely t-shirt.
Members of the newfound club voiced their concerns that Lisa remains on the show because she is rude, obnoxious, loud, and ugly among other things and all of this makes for good TV. They feel as though keeping a character like Lisa on and into the final four sacrifices the high standards the show has been known for in the past. Is this not a competition among the best chefs in the country and shouldn’t the best be given an opportunity to win--- instead, Bravo appears to allow crazy-psychos stay on the show for a few measly ratings.
It’s true. I plan to watch the show mainly because I want to see which of the final 3 will punch Lisa in the face first. I also have been dying for a new bacon recipe, and since that is Lisa’s specialty I am hoping she will make it several more times so I can get a recipe off of this travesty at least. Oh wait, I don’t need a recipe to make BACON. Silly me. Maybe I will whip up some peanut butter mashed potatoes tonight because THAT SOUNDS APPETIZING.
Moving on and away from the fake news story format, I just have to say, what is the deal with keeping Lisa on the show? Come on! I know Spike isn’t a fan favorite either, but you can tell he has good skills. And he wears cool hats. And he is easier on the eyes than Lisa. He won the quick fire by making lollipop chops, didn’t he? I mean, Lisa has been on the chopping block for the past few weeks and every week I sit on my couch and hope and pray and wish and hope and wish and pray for Lisa to get told to pack her knives and go and it NEVER happens. Instead, she has one redeeming quality or she throws her friends (yeah, they are her friends because she wants to ‘keep in touch no matter what happens’—um, no one is going to keep in touch with you Lisa because you are evil and mean) under the bus and then someone who is far more talented than she is gets kicked off. Gross.
If you are interested in joining the I Hate Lisa Club, please send a check or money order to me at my address for $19.95 plus shipping and handling and I will send you this lovely t-shirt.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)