The I Hate Lisa Club official as of Wednesday night

Everywhere, USA- Viewers of Bravo’s hit reality program Top Chef bleched, blehhed and auuuuuuggghhed in unison last night after the airing of its most recent episode when it was determined that “Moana” Lisa would remain on the show for yet another day. Instead, Spike “Both my grandfathers were butchers and I like hats” Mendelsohn was voted out of the mansion and back to his real life as a fancy shmancy Chef de Cuisine in Tribeca. After the booing died down across the country (11pm Eastern, 10 pm Central) it was decided that an un-fan club needed to be formed, later dubbed the I Hate Lisa Club.

Members of the newfound club voiced their concerns that Lisa remains on the show because she is rude, obnoxious, loud, and ugly among other things and all of this makes for good TV. They feel as though keeping a character like Lisa on and into the final four sacrifices the high standards the show has been known for in the past. Is this not a competition among the best chefs in the country and shouldn’t the best be given an opportunity to win--- instead, Bravo appears to allow crazy-psychos stay on the show for a few measly ratings.

It’s true. I plan to watch the show mainly because I want to see which of the final 3 will punch Lisa in the face first. I also have been dying for a new bacon recipe, and since that is Lisa’s specialty I am hoping she will make it several more times so I can get a recipe off of this travesty at least. Oh wait, I don’t need a recipe to make BACON. Silly me. Maybe I will whip up some peanut butter mashed potatoes tonight because THAT SOUNDS APPETIZING.

Moving on and away from the fake news story format, I just have to say, what is the deal with keeping Lisa on the show? Come on! I know Spike isn’t a fan favorite either, but you can tell he has good skills. And he wears cool hats. And he is easier on the eyes than Lisa. He won the quick fire by making lollipop chops, didn’t he? I mean, Lisa has been on the chopping block for the past few weeks and every week I sit on my couch and hope and pray and wish and hope and wish and pray for Lisa to get told to pack her knives and go and it NEVER happens. Instead, she has one redeeming quality or she throws her friends (yeah, they are her friends because she wants to ‘keep in touch no matter what happens’—um, no one is going to keep in touch with you Lisa because you are evil and mean) under the bus and then someone who is far more talented than she is gets kicked off. Gross.

If you are interested in joining the I Hate Lisa Club, please send a check or money order to me at my address for $19.95 plus shipping and handling and I will send you this lovely t-shirt.