Sunday 20 January 2008

I'm funnier than you

Have you ever been talking to someone and you see his/her eyes glaze over and you know that person is not listening to you anymore but simply nodding and smiling along with your story, laughing at the right moments and trying so hard to look engaged? Recently, I've been doing that a lot to others. I just can't seem to listen to anyone's stories besides my own. Obviously, I feel really guilty about this because I am known for my ridiculously long stories that no one can follow and have no point. So I should probably try to listen when other people are basically doing what I do to them. But no, instead I wait until that perfect moment to share my funnier, smarter, better story.

It is like I am constantly trying to one-up everyone all of the time.

Oh, you slipped on the ice and got laughed at by a woman crossing the street?

Me, I slipped on the ice, fell into a puddle, and while still flat on my back in the middle of the road I got beeped at by a car that was trying to pass.

See how my story was better?

Your roommates are weird? Mine are weirder. And I will tell you why with the help of a power point presentation and pictures posted on Facebook.

I don't know what has gotten into me. I have turned into a completely ego-centric person. Probably when my sister has her baby, I will write a blog about my adventure getting home or how I won the baby pool... twice. (February 2nd suckers!)

Hopefully I will get over this phase soon. I don't really like being so self absorbed, but I can't seem to control it. I caught myself describing my favorite commercial in detail to a couple of colleagues the other day. (It is a really funny commercial. It is for the new AT&T and it has this tall blond man named Sven in it, and he wakes up the family, sets up their schedule, keeps everyone informed of their missed calls and emails, and at the end hands out giant sweaters like the one he is wearing and tells them to 'bundle up.' Every time i see it, I backwards bloop bloop on TiVo just so I can get a second showing. I am addicted to Sven.) But the point is--- it is a TV advertisement, not breaking news about Jamie Lynn's pregnancy or the score of whatever important football game was on on Sunday. There is no need for me to share it with co-workers over the water cooler. It's like I need a slap on the face that says "Get a life, Jenn." I bet Sven would do that for me. Seriously. See how helpful he would be in my life? He could say things like "You have been speaking for 42 minutes" or "Your friend wants to talk now" to keep me on track. (I told you I was obsessed).

Since there is no chance that Sven will show up on my doorstep to keep me in line, I will have to do it myself. This has got to stop. I am not going to add it to my list, but I will try very very hard anyway.

Sunday 6 January 2008

Vegetarian Attempt

While I am writing this, I am eating a cobb salad. With Chicken. So I think you know where this blog is going.

I did indeed make my attempt at being a Vegetarian. I didn't eat meat all week, even when I went to the Cheesecake Factory and all of the things I love were either burgers, chicken, or meatloaf. I got Evelyn's favorite pasta, and it was actually quite yummy and healthy, although the eggplant chunks were a little large.

But then, I started thinking to myself, why am I doing this? The reason why I wanted to stop eating meat was because every time I am in CT with the fam, we eat meat every night and by the end of my stay, I feel bad for the cows that we have eaten. I am not sure why I feel bad for the cow, but once you feel bad for the cow, you can't eat the cow and really enjoy it. Then, I thought, if I feel bad for the cow, why don't I feel bad for the chicken or the pig? Since I am not discriminatory of animals, I felt like I should feel guilty about eating all living things. So that's when I thought I should be a vegetarian.

Well, you know what? Sometimes, I feel like eating meat. And I am going to eat it. Instead of being a vegetarian, I am going to eat less meat, and only when it is really delicious. This way, I don't waste meat eating on non-delicious meat. I might go straight-up vegetarian later this year, but for now, that is my meat eating policy.

Meanwhile, today I was making my healthy menu for the week, and here is what it is:

Breakfast: every other day, grapenuts hot. On the other days, a Turkish breakfast of: yogurt with honey, pomegranate (and grapenuts, they aren't Turkish, but I love them), Orange wedges and olives on the side OR ricotta with tomatoes.

Lunch: Roasted veggie pitas with hummus or salad. Sides of string cheese or laughing cow, sugar free/fat free pudding or jello, Fruit.

Dinners: Chickpea stew, Ribollita, or Salad (depending on the lunch). (I usually only make a big batch of something, and then repeat during the week). Pasta will probably happen one night. Maybe pizza.

So, yeah, that's a vegetarian menu. I guess I don't know what I am planning to be anymore. I am going to make like a Calvin Klein ad and just be.