Cargo pants are for suckers

Okay, please don't take offense to that statement, you cargo pant wearers and lovers. I myself have been known to wear cargo things every once and a while, and there is something to be said about someone who can pull off cargos and heels. However, when you think about cargo pants and witness them in action, you start to realize how ridiculous they are.

While waiting for the bus (the time of day when everything amazing happens), I saw a young man running. The only reason I even noticed him at all was because he was wearing cargos and converse, a fairly typical combination in SoVi. What was funny is that his pockets were packed so chock full of stuff that he ran the full pockets bounced in the wind. It looked pretty uncomfortable. [I am pretty sure one pocket was full of quarters. I'd say he was on his way to the laundromat, but he didn't have any laundry. If he ran fast enough and long enough, the tension of the quarters against the khaki material would rip the seams and loose change would rain from the sky. It would be how I'd imagine winning the lottery would feel like. Except with hard painful quarters that pelt your face and end up adding to a total of $37 instead of millions of hundred dollar bills.]

Thus, it was realized that cargo pants are silly. They have these giant pockets , but can you really use them to their full potential? No. I've seen cargos that have pockets that could hold a small pair of shoes, but that would be ridiculous however handy it may seem. I would love to throw my spare pair of flats in my pocket, but then I would have a pair of shoes in my pocket.

Also, the location of the pockets are generally pretty awkward. The pockets are down on your ankle- maybe if you are lucky, closer to the knee or thigh- but you can't reach into them easily. So sure, you can stow your cell phone down in your ankle pocket, but try and reach that quickly if it rings.

Don't get me wrong- I love miscellaneous useless pockets on my clothing. In fact, I buy clothing that have pockets that go unused the same way I buy shirts that have hoods that I never wear. But, if you are a person who thinks you are buying cargo pants for the purpose of being able to carry around all sorts of things [including but not limited to: keys, phones, travel scrabble, flip flops, candy canes, cigarettes, altoids, kleenex, garden gnomes, nail files, and bottles of beers] in your pockets, then, you are a sucker, my friend. Don't say I didn't warn you.

NaNoWriMo

Okay, I officially signed up to write a novel during the month of November. I am taking ideas now starting now.



P.S. Sorry I haven't written in a while. To tide you over, here are a few answers to a few questions. (This is for you, Heidi!)


1. What is your favorite word? Jokers!2. What is your least favorite word? mucus.3. What turns you on? Smart people but not so smart that they are too smart to be social. Also, funny people. Also, nice arms. 4. What turns you off? Stupidiots. This is short for Stupid Idiots. The worst kind of idiot is a stupid one. What?5. What is your favorite curse word? Jokers!6. What sound or noise do you love? The ocean crashing on the shore. But not in a scary way like tsunamis. 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Nails on a chalkboard or anything similar. Like teeth on forks. Or in that scene in Spider-Man 2 when Doc Oc is on the operating table and then the arms have a mind of their own and they freak out and one of the doctor's nails are against the wall and it is the worst sound ever and just thinking about it makes me cringe.8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? I would love to be a writer. If I could finish a book and get it published and have it be successful then I would be the happiest girl in the world because then I wouldn't have to have a boss other than myself and I could sit in coffee shops all day and be mysterious. We'll see how November goes.9. What profession would you not like to do? School Custodian. Not because I don't like kids, but because I don't like vomit. Once this kid in my 7th grade math class puked all over the floor directly in front of the door. Class was ending, and so we had to do split leaps over the puddle of barf. It was disgusting shit.10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? I believe in reincarnation, so I hope I come back as a well cared for golden retriever. Or a better version of myself. Or a princess. I always wanted to be royalty.

P.S.S. Brooke wanted me to let all of you know I am really lucky. We went and saw Regina Spektor and we had front row seats. Yeah that's right. And they were a last minute purchase. So, no, it doesn't always pay to buy early. Sometimes you should buy the day before and get really awesome seats for cheap. Good story. Good times.