The one good thing about riding the bus is that is gives me plenty of time to think. Today I was thinking about how technology is evil. (No, I am not going to swear of electricity.) Mainly, the internet (Yes, I know I am using it now. I am aware of the fact I am a hypocrite). Sure, the internet is really great in the sense that you can find anything you need anytime you want and probably get it the next day. Some people might say that is a good thing, and sure, when you first find out you can order your Thai food online and avoid the language barrier you are like "Cool!" But if you think about it, it is really not cool at all. Here's why:
I am a true believer that the internet has made us less social as people. Sometimes in our apartment we would all have our laptops and be sitting on our couches, totally doing our own thing. This is okay because sometimes you just need to get stuff done online. If an outsider was looking in on us, though, I think s/he would be really sad. I mean, here are 4 interesting (okay 3, because the time I am referring to is when there were only 3 of us who were interesting) girls not talking to each other and more involved with a contraption that's basically a robot than each other. (Sometimes I joke that my work thinks I can only communicate with robots. Although it is fun to make fun of myself talking to robots all day in order to get my job done, it is a really sad thought that that is sort of my life).
Furthermore, we abuse our internet priviliges when we prefer to do things online than over the phone or even in person. Before the internet, people actually talked to other people. Now we IM and gchat (I like to call it google-talk but my roommate told me that is wrong and then I think she laughed at me on the inside. I usually try to hide the fact I am a loser and not really in-the-know but sometimes it slips out accidentally) and email and pay our bills and shop online etc. I got a text message once from Verizon telling me I should add IN texting because I text a lot of people every month. I looked at my statement, and for once appreciated Verizon for being so courteous and not trying to screw me over. So, I immediately went online, opened up my account and tried to set it up. A red notice popped up saying I am supposed to call Customer Service to add things to my cell phone package. Immediately and without warning, I became unreasonably agitated. I hated Verizon for making me pick up my phone and call them to do something that could have easily been done online. God forbid they make me actually talk to a real person. I then realized I was being ridiculous and that it is all because the internet has made me an idiot an unable to socialize. Maybe the people at work were right.
Every day when I ride the bus I see these advertisements for Windorphins. I actually find myself chanting Windorphins so that I will remember to look up the website when I get to work. I always forget, except for Saturday when bizarrely I wasn't even on the bus and I remembered and made my roommate look it up because she was at her computer and mine was way upstairs. I was so excited to find out what this Windorphins site was and ended up being sorely disappointed. It's some sort of a portal for eBay. I guess windorphins are what you call the things that are produced inside your body when you win something. And what is an easier way to boost your windorphins than when bidding on things (and winning them) on eBay? I thought the whole concept was ridiculous and I was right. What was even more telling though, is that eBay figured out this new marketing campaign for their online bidding site because they knew people were probably getting bored of the instant gratification that was occuring on eBay everyday. I mean sure, it is so exciting to find "It" but after you find seven "Its" without batting an eyelash, you get bored and you expect to find "It." Ebay knows that we are spoiled and don't even get excited about winning. EBay knows the internet is evil, but eBay is capitalizing on the fact we are spoiled little brats.
The truth is, though, once upon a time it was considered a novelty to be able to do things instantaneously. I bet instant win scratch tickets used to be really exciting. Now you would probably go to a 7/11 and win $200 and say "I guess that's cool." I can order a pizza online. I can get Amazon to ship me a book I feel like reading tomorrow because I am too lazy to walk across the street from work and buy it at Borders for the same price and it doesn't even affect me. (Books are really heavy, you know? Sometimes I don't want to lug it from the bus stop to my apartment.) I feel entitled to these services that are just so handy.
If someone had told me 10 years ago that now I would be able to order a pizza while gchatting with seven of my friends simultaneously and also shopping for shoes, that would have blown my mind. Now, I am like, "yeah, so what?" I am more upset if someone tells me I can't do that. The horror if the internet is down for a day-- how am I to find the information I need or look up Miss Piggy aerobic album covers?
So now, all because of the internet, I am spoiled. I want what I want and I want it now. The bus was late today, and I had a fleeting thought of "why didn't the bus website call me and tell me the bus was going to be late?" and then immediately thereafter realized that was ridiculous, although not far off from the imminent future- I mean, Orbitz does it for flights, am I right?
Now that I know the internet is evil and makes me stupid and spoiled, I am going to have to start anti-internet rallies. Who cares if the internet holds all sorts of useful information that you can access quickly and easily? It is a corrupting body and we should get rid of it. Instead, we should start to put our money towards innovations like cupholders on public buses (Today I was holding my cup and trying to flip the Metro pages while simultaneously changing the song on my iPod and I couldn't do it all. If I had a cupholder I would have been golden) and something that makes office buildings feel less like refrigerators.
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